What we do for love

You know how when you’re depressed you’ll be on an upswing, things will start looking better, and you think you might be getting ready to climb above that horizontal axis that divides depressed from not, and then you do something stupid, like listening to a song that you know can trigger you when you’re on … More What we do for love

SAD

I’ve been wondering if I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I honestly haven’t paid close enough attention in the past, but it seems to me that, this year at least, I started to pick up when the weather turned. Of course, that was right around the time that I started all the little things I’ve … More SAD

Fat

I just resisted spending way too much money on ThreadUp. I started with $260 worth of stuff in my cart, removed a few things, and got it down to $152. Then I just closed the window. The $152 is still in my cart, but I haven’t gone back yet, so that’s something. Baby steps, right? … More Fat

Pros and cons

So one of the big things that S and chatted about the other day was this baby situation. And she brought up that I really shouldn’t put the decision off or wait longer than I have to. I mean, yes, my fertility window is closing, but that wasn’t her main point. If the answer is … More Pros and cons

Friendships

I spent yesterday catching up with a friend from high school. We spent the day sharing depression stories and generally bemoaning the troubles of being women in our thirties. It was nice, but so draining. I told D when I got home that I had spent too much time peopling. But I feel like maybe … More Friendships

Week-to-week

I have a bad habit of trying to make huge changes all at once. Of course, at some point, I’ll miss one of the pieces of this huge change, get discouraged, and just stop everything. This has happened so many times over the years that I’ve lost count. Honestly, given this trend of mine, I’m … More Week-to-week

Trust issues

I’ve been reading this book about adults molested as children and how they can cope with the trauma and move on. And it’s really interesting, but it’s been a little hard to read. I mean, the writing is accessible and far easier to digest than many of the things I had to read in college, … More Trust issues

Living the dream

My therapist used to ask me how I was so normal. She’d do this quite a lot. I’d be telling her about something, and she’d just lean forward and ask me. The thing is, I’ve never felt normal. Maybe it’s because I’m with me all the time, I see all my stupid mistakes and faux … More Living the dream

Retail therapy

I feel like such a cliche. But what do I do when I’m too depressed to just sit around the house, but not depressed enough to feel like I can’t leave the house? I go shopping. I spent $30 at Michaels, $30 at Ulta, and another $45 online once I got to work today. And … More Retail therapy

Baby fever

I’ve reached the age where the people I went to high school with are intentionally having children. I mean, honestly, they’ve been doing this for a few years now, but it seems like the scales have tipped to more of them are bringing forth new life. I’ve passed the age when a number of coworkers … More Baby fever